Teenager Posts Suicide Note on Myspace.com
New America Media, News Feature/Commentary, Milan Gagnon Posted: Dec 01, 2005
Editor's Note: Suicide notes are usually written to intimates. In the case of one young man who just killed himself in Orange County, Calif., the suicide note was posted on a popular social networking Web site. PNS contributor Milan Gagnon reports as one of millions of people who followed the suicide online. Gagnon is a writer based in Prague.
Czech Republic--At 8:14 a.m. on Nov. 29, Joshua Anson Ballard posted his final bulletin on the Internet social-networking site MySpace.com. Ballard, who took the online identity "you BROKE my LIFE," followed his subject line, "do me a favore [sic] ....", with a body that read:
"call the police.
Address ... Abadejo, Mission Viejo, CA 92692.
tell them to go down the hall to the bathrooom.
im soo sorry<3"
About 15 minutes later, according to the Orange County coroner's office, Josh, 17, killed himself with a gunshot to the head. Within minutes, MySpace, which promotes social interaction among young people and is popular with teenagers, was alight with messages about the suicide. Here in Prague, I saw a note about Josh on MySpace and checked it out.
By 10 p.m. the night of his death, Josh was being eulogized.
He killed himself over a girl "and other things," writes Flower King Of Flies on MySpace, who says the death was preventable. "This could of ben stoped," he says via a Myspace comment page that has become Josh's memorial. "All the people that knew didnt do shit. i had a good time with u in ceramics. f--- all your friends that did nothing."
So it goes, Josh's life splayed out on the black backdrop he'd created as his space.
According to his words, Josh loved "girls who cry"; was married; was 8 feet, 11 inches tall and made $250,000 a year or more. Josh was a smartass. He posted self-portraits that featured him at his emo-kid best: shaggy hair, pouting lips, intentionally blank expression. He posted an ad for a clothing company called Emo Police that featured a man hanging from the P.
Emo, a 20-year-old sub-genre of punk rock, didn't kill Josh, even if emo songs are mostly un-ironic paeans to self-pity. Kids kill themselves whether they listen to country or classical. The death-trip soundtrack can easily be Snoop Dogg or Slayer; on Josh's page, it's Senses Fail.
Josh wanted. He sought attention by posting surveys in his blog with categories like "Would you ..." and questions like "stick up for me if I was being put down?" In another, he queried friends as to whether they loved him, had crushes on him, etc. The surveys, common among Myspace teenagers, mean little more than that the kid dug compliments. Craved 'em.
Sixty-two times he was eulogized -- sometimes with just one line, sometimes with just a word -- in the first 17 hours. "i'm speechless," wrote Kelsey, a 17-year-old from San Juan Capistrano who enjoys "good times." "Rest in peace, Josh." Rach, who posted seven farewells in those hours, told him, "It says you broke my life - well you broke ours."
I didn't know Josh, should never have. Wouldn't have, had a former source in Idaho not posted a bulletin from her Myspace account. "this is the most horrible thing i've ever seen," Tori'd headlined it, using haphazard Myspace capitalization. "Honestly," wrote the former Orange County teen who'd received it as a forward from a friend. "It will make you sick to your stomach." I read it, braced for some banal but benign forwarded joke.
Now I know Josh, know that his friend YOUR KISSES MAKE MY HEART STOP says he was the happiest guy around. He protected her from mean guys at school, protected her from spiders, always told her to smile. "unfortunatly we had a scary about 4 days ago he atemted suicid and failed we were all on his back ever since but this mornig right before school he posted this on a bulliton ..." she wrote me. "as soon as my friend rach saw that she told mimi and mimis mom call the police and drove up to his house (they live 1 street up from each other) she found it was to late. if i could telll josh one thing is that i love you and i wish that you could have send the people that hold you dear to there hearts. you always seid that nothing is as bad as it seem."
Kids type quicker than they think. They bleed words, don't contrive them, and, even if I disdain Net-speak, I have the luxury of never needing to type so frantically. Immersed in his requiem, not 30 hours after he did what he did, I know Joshua Anson Ballard. With his suicide announced on an Internet bulletin, his life remembered in a series of hastily typed prose that comes in blurbs and missives, and his loved ones handling their grieving through instant messages and blogs, will forever words be left on his Web page rather than coins or roses on his grave? We'll have to visit every Nov. 29.
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User Comments
Karina Tellez on Aug 25, 2008 at 21:38:38 said:
Number one, Myspace is pointless. It's cutting people off from real life. Second of all, I doubt the kid had enough problems with that girl to kill himself. Now, he's left people who loved him alone, and he never got to really live life. Poor kid, suicide is pointless when something is so stupid.
Faye on Nov 23, 2006 at 02:22:36 said:
It was a final, desperate cry for help, its amazing what people will do for help - This kid needed help and this was his last resort and he done this, it didnt work - he didnt feel as if he had anyone else to go to. Nobody knows what this kid was REALLY going through, they say that your mind is your final sanctuary: in this case it was his prison.
I dont think ANYONE is in the position to judge him, no one knows what the hell he was going through. Just give him the respect that you would give anyone....
Rosie Palmer on Sep 05, 2006 at 14:09:14 said:
Arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics.
Even if you win, you're still retarded.
John Howard on Mar 06, 2006 at 12:26:21 said:
even though i didn't know him at all...it almost brought me to tears to read that bulletin and look at the comments on his page because i know how he must have felt and im so sad it happened.
Delaine on Jan 09, 2006 at 12:17:01 said:
I am sorry what happened to this young guy. Makes me think because I also have 2 teens and a teen that adopted me. Ranging from 14-17 Makes a parents wonder what is going on in this world today. I didnt know Josh. Wish someone could of relized that he was in so much pain. I feel for the parents that dont have him to hug and tell him that they love him. God Bless all his family, I know that this is very upsetting to you all. You will remain in my prayers.
Dee
Azly on Dec 16, 2005 at 04:37:57 said:
He wasn't pathetic at all, and I am referring to the comment that was left by Mike. The choice that he mad to kill himself was the wrong choice to make, but does that honestly make his entire persona, his entire being pathetic? I am very anti-suicidie aswell. It isn't appealing to my eyes, just as it isn't to Mike's. People are currently complaining and moaning about how this article has no point or reason, but if it didn't, why did it attract their attention? Why take time out of YOUR day to read it?
It's so very unfortunate that Josh is dead. I wish I knew him so that I could've guided his thoughts into another direction and make his mind a little more logical for the time. Maybe I'll send flowers, if at all possible for me.
There is nothing wrong with Myspace, just as most adults would say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with bars. In a bar, one person slips up and does something stupid...does that bar get blamed for it?
Many teens or adults have killed themselves to this current day, some of them famous for it and some of them hated for it. There is generally a point in time where someone has a terrible struggle in their life, and if it's something they can't get over, their choice comes into play.
If Josh existed now, I'd offer to listen to his point of view instead of hear everyone elses. Hypocritical, much? Maybe we don't have a right to voice our opinions at all, and as for most believers, he can't go to Heaven. He's damned to Hell.
Lord Forbid.
Teryn Hawley on Dec 15, 2005 at 12:12:15 said:
Ok you know, a friend told me about this kid on myspace who committed suicide and it didn't affect me really. I went on and looked at him and read his comments. By the looks of it, he had everything, he was loved. There is nothing I can say. I sat here and read things on him and it honestly is hurting me and making me cry. I thought why are his friends writing on his myspace? It's not like he will read them. But you know, I started thinking what if it was my best friend, my boyfriend, a close friend, a brother...How can they deal with it?
I feel horrible and I just wish I could bring him back, from the sounds of it he was a great person and I feel like I missed out on knowing him. I am a teenager and although I don't like that he said goodbye on myspace, that's what us teenagers spend our time on. Just because he said goodbye on myspace does not make this horrible time any less important than others. Killing yourself is not a way out, but some people don't seem to get that and realize things would get better. I feel great pain for Josh and his family and friends because I have lost a friend. You don't think any less of them even though they took their own life. I see it as a loss, a life was lost and it's sad. I don't just ignore it and feel no sympathy for him because he took his own life. He was obviously hurting tremendously for whatever reason and that does not make him any less of a person.
Rest in peace Josh Ballard, I don't even know you but I miss you and hope you never feel pain again.
All my love,
Teryn H
Yucaipa Ca.
Mike on Dec 13, 2005 at 11:48:38 said:
He's just as pathetic as everyone attempting to back him up. The arguments "you don't know him" and "you don't know what his life was like" is ridiculous, equally as ridiculous as the final plea for attention he made by posting a suicide note for the general public to see.
This is what he wanted, he clearly wasn't gaining any special attention with his persona, and went to the final length to leave his mark on society, which is what every "emo" kid complains about not being able to do, right? Not to say he killed himself for attention, because how can you receive and acknowledge attention when you're dead. He clearly had social problems, and probably wasn't living the same life that those contradictive emo artists live on a daily basis, screaming "why me" for the masses while rolling around in piles of cash. But that's not a reason for someone to end their life.
I have no sympathy for people who do stuff like this, no matter how bad you may think your life is, there's always something worse going on in the world. Turn to the middle east, and the daily genocides going on in places unknown to the public because it's not "breaking news". Look at yourselves, people, look at how much we have as it is. Do we really have the right to cry about having a worthless life at all?
He had no cause for what he did, he sure as hell shouldn't have posted it on myspace or any other public area like a blog, but that just shows that he was doing it so that we would discuss it like this. But you people sure as hell don't have the right to defend someone who clearly, by his actions, was not the mistaken, misunderstood, innocent guy you all claim him to be.
Sophia on Dec 11, 2005 at 09:18:19 said:
I think that this an awful tragedy.. .I am from australia and never even knew josh!
People need to stop judging josh this is a site for people to send their condolences and show respect for his family and friends in mourning... seriously how would u like it if u were 1 of joshs' friends or family members and saw all this junk written on here... C'mon people if you dont like wat you see or read on this page dont comment cos there are people in mournin...
i have had a close famliy member commit suicide it is a tragic thing to happen but its their life their choice, i personally dont agree with suicide but it happens... and all u can do is show ur respect for their families....
i am at the same age as josh and i admit it is a very hard time yer i have had the thoughts run through my head... dont blame his friends thats jus wrong or for that matter even his family half the time the families dont even know i covered it up so easy when i tried to do it and my parents never found out so plse dont blame the family they r goin through enough
and the friends may of been there for him but sumtimes thats not enough they cant remove all the problems from ur life! they can try but it all comes down to self healing... its sumthin that i dont always believe can b helped..such is life.. and the whole emo cr-p what a load of bullsh-t i dont like that music but i dont believe that music can influence some1 to kill themselves....
well anyway i would like to send my condolences to the family and friends my love goes out to u all
LEUMAS on Dec 10, 2005 at 17:53:01 said:
There are too many posts taking the EMO kids side. Let this be my view of the events. \"kid has no friends in school\" he needs attension somewhere. Speaks to a \"girl\" 1 day as his crayon falls down in art class and the girl picks it up for him. Instantly hes in love as he sees the makings of the razor blade on her wrist. Later he finds out she is in love with another goth/emo. Comes home to a family that sees him getting worse day by day and yet fail to help (good job parents). Parents hear his satanic death tunes day by day (are u deaf parents?). He is unsure of his sexuality, unsure of everything in his life(keep it up parents). \"how can i make them see me and love me\" says emo. \"the music makes it sound so easy, pain is like 2nd nature now. \"There is no use to be here\" i have no1\" cries emo. \"I know how i can finally make people notice me. Ive got it KNOW!\" \"Try to save me (all 6 of my friends) that IM me 1s a month.\" \"hear my cry and try to respond back in time\" \"even if u do it wont change anything because how does pleading suicide improve my ammount of friends?\" wait it doesnt. OMG it has to be today i cant take it. Pulls out the gun out of nowhere? and shoots himself(parents are blind). Instantly over night 6 friends becomes 400+, everyone in school mourns, and now everyone loves him. MISSION COMPLETE ps. (try and get that money now PARENTS)
Allegra and Becca on Dec 09, 2005 at 05:34:14 said:
(allegra)PEOPLE LISTEN UP!! its not f--king funny to laugh or diss someone who killed himself for some anonymous reason!!
(becca)i know how it feels to get emotional over the opposite sex. trust me ive done it a million times and you know what i still do. death might be the easy way out for you but trust me if you just talk to someone it makes it easier on everyone who loves you.
(allegra) i tryed to commit suicide once before.. dint work out so well... but thats not the point, the point is that death isn't really the easy way out for everyone, its the easy way out for the person who wants to die, and feels like noone loves him/her, although everyone does even if they never knew him/her, so if u wanna kill urself, think of everyone else before you be so selfish as to kill yourself before telling everyone that u are gonna kill urself cos noone likes you...
~spread the love and never ever try and kill yourself even if the guy says he thinks you are soulmates...sorry getting off topic okay well SPREAD JOY AND LOVE NEVER EVER HATE OR FEAR!~
Nick Moore on Dec 09, 2005 at 05:08:34 said:
This is to all of you "better" people trying to bring this kid down. You guys need to ALL take a look in the mirror. What makes you think that this kid doesn't deserve our sympathy?
"Give the kid a Darwin Award already. Our genepool is cleaner as a result of him eliminating himself from it."
I especially liked this one. I hope you are content with the kind of person you are and hope that you feel some sort of accomplishment from your "witty" response to this article. You are no better than him no matter what music you listen to, what style clothes you wear, etc. He was a brother in Christ's eyes and I am ashamed to call you my brother as well. It's people like you who make this world such a heartless place to live in, where things like this happen! And there is no "honorable" way to die. It makes no difference whether you write a suicide note on paper or type it on a screen, he still took his life, and we need to remember that and pay him the respect he deserves. Kurt Cobain was a coke-addict who commited suicide at the peak of his career, and you say he didn't want attention? Isn't that what Josh wanted? I do believe that attention WAS what he wanted, and this was the only way he felt who could obtain it. I just feel sorry for his friends and family and especially all you trying to bring this man down. We need to realize that suicide is very real, and instead of talking about how stupid someone was for doing it, we need to be making sure that this doesn't happen to anyone else. God bless and remember we will all be brothers in heaven one day.
Liam Blackford on Dec 08, 2005 at 21:09:40 said:
Although myspace was probably an unsuitable place for a suicide note, and although it is very easy to say that this kid killed himself because he was an attention seeking little brat, the worst thing we can do is treat his memory disrespectfully. Remember, this kid would not have committed suicide had he not have seen no direction in his life (whether or not there was any). The fact that he, himself, felt that his life was so destitute that he would rather die is such a frightening and saddening thing to consider, and one that we should be pitying him for.
We cannot blame this death on emo culture. He, in most likelihood, had serious life issues that (even though may not have justified him acting in such a way), but obviously convinced him that suicide was the only answer.
s on Dec 08, 2005 at 12:39:09 said:
everyone here needs to grown up.
for taking the time on complaining about nothing.
a kid has died and your running your mouth about what?
let him rest in peace already.
no one but his friends and famiy knew him.
no one knew what was going through his head but himself.
depression is a horrible thing and it gets the best of alot of people.
and unfortantly it did with him.
but nor does that make him any less of a person then him still being alive today.
we give serial killers more treatment, support, attention ect then we do for people who need our help.
shut your mouths, open up your eyes, and listen.
cause if this happend to your friends or family member you sure as hell wouldnt be here right now bothering others about someone\'s, you\'ve never even met or heard of until now, death.
Mike on Dec 08, 2005 at 06:48:47 said:
What the hell is wrong with you people?
It is a sad day when people have the audacity to mock, taunt or outright praise the death of a fellow human. Now I am all for the freedom of thought and expression of humor, but sometimes, sometimes there needs to be an implication of humility and tact. What the hell kind of society have we been dained to? Applauding and lampooning the dead; for what cause? For what?
Firstly, he's dead. He's dead because of a stupid, foolish reason, but he is dead nonetheless. Have some respect. Have some decency. Even if you are disgusted with his choice, have some tact for the sake of his friends and his family. Cut the damn crap already. Are we children? Are laughing at this in the manner that we laughed at Timmy when he fell off the monkey bars in first grade? Have some tact, scumbags.
And *why* are we *always* blaming and finger-pointing immediately after the tragedy? Why? When the Columbine shootings occurred, there were already self-righteous imbeciles on their soapboxes screaming about the blame needed to be levied on the gun companies or on their parents. When Katrina hit New Orleans, a badminton match of blame was strewn between the mayor and FEMA. Bodies had yet to buried, time had yet to set in and ease the sufferers.
The same goes with suicide. It is a tragedy. Mourn him. Mourn Joshua Ballard. Call him selfish, call him foolish, but mourn him. Help his friends and family and community with the loss. Help all survivors of suicide.
Let us all look deep within ourselves and reach out in compassion. Let us mourn that a young man-someone's friend, someone's son, someone's grandson;-is gone. Let the flowers on his grave bloom towards the sun; let months ease the knot in a parent's stomach of looking into an empty room; let time pass before we begin to ponder why; before we begin to levy blame. And when you do, ask yourself how it would be it was your friend, your child, your own Joshua Ballard.
Have a heart America.
Dan Byelich on Dec 08, 2005 at 01:45:16 said:
this is such a terrible story. death is an awful thing losing someone is extreamly hard. its worse when the person you loved to their OWN life.
no i didnt know josh. look at all the kids however who did. look at his comments on his myspace they are all completley heart broken
i checked out some of the others kids' myspaces and they have tons of things about how much they miss josh. people have their profile pictures with them and josh.
imagine how his ex-girlfriend must feel. she must feel terrible and that it was her fault even though it wasnt because suicide is caused by a chemical imbalance in the mind.
but making jokes about a person who tragically commited suicide is NOT AT ALL FUNNY! im glad you sick demented people get your kicks from a person's death.
its real halirous isnt it?!
think for one split second how would you feel if he was your brother or son or best friend or aquantince. or even if you never talked to him and he sat next to you in math class.
how akward and terrible would that be if you knew he would never sit in that seat again instead he lays in a coffin 6 feet in the ground.
think about that before your so quick to judge.
death is very serious not a game of mockery
Joselin on Dec 07, 2005 at 11:27:36 said:
I know people that knew joshua, i personally never spoke with him.
but what ever the reason of why he killed himself DOESNT MATTER now.( color, race, religion, or whether he was emo... ect.) hes gone.
everyone that is talking bad about him, is wrong...YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HIM . no one is to judge negatively about ANYONE that they didnt know. before you judge anyone or anything get into their shoes, try to imagine living their life. you never know what obstacles he was faced in his life.
everyone deserves the right to an opinion. but have a heart, if that was someone close to you what would you have to say?...
HE WAS JUST A KID...17 years old the thought of kids commiting suicide at that age is sad. instead of arguing about what to say about his death, appreciate that youre still here and try to learn from other peoples actions.
Megan on Dec 07, 2005 at 09:27:50 said:
Who ever said that being "Emo" had anything to do with this? It's just a form of music that any prep or jerk likes to make fun of. This, I would have to say, is a horrible reporter. Making the family feel bad, friends as well, some of the things written here dont even make sence! Get rid of this!
Its suggesting that, Emo are the cause of his death, (i know no more than the reporter) and made the poor kid look like a over emotional idiot! How dare you!
Amanda Torrez on Dec 07, 2005 at 06:53:33 said:
okay. i just found this link and to be honest with u guys who all called him lame or an idiot. You guys are all heartless. HE WAS MY FRIEND. and he was very depressed and has been for a long time now. Most of the stories you guys hear arent even true. i know the truth and i no how he felt. he was very sad not about girls or the "emo" music u guys like to blame for this death. it was his life and problems. he did have people there for him and i no for sure that he knew that. it was his choice to do wat he did and if he felt better going out this way then so be it. ohh and he didnt do all this for fame or popularity. it just so happens tht he had a myspace. i think i wrote enough because most likely u lame people arent even reading this but Joshua Anson Ballard was a great guy and a beautiful friend. and hes happier now and thats all tht matters.
RIP JOSH<3
Roger Lynott on Dec 06, 2005 at 15:41:11 said:
The vague hint of sarcasm wafting off this article brought tears to my eyes-tears of laughter, that is.
Give the kid a Darwin Award already. Our genepool is cleaner as a result of him eliminating himself from it.
When our generation chooses to hide behind Photoshopped self-portraits and screen names such as MYxXxHEART_IS_BLEEDING, then glorifies suicide, and serious medical conditions such as self-mutilation and depression, I am ashamed to be a part of it, and I have no sympathy for those who do buy into this cesspool of vanity and ignorance.
Let\'s mourn for this kid\'s friends, because they will have to deal with heart-wrenching life problems such as killing spiders for themselves now. Let\'s mourn for the English language, when a one\'s very last words are almost incomprehensible netspeak, they can\'t have had many worthwhile comments and ideas to contribute to the world anyway, apart from \"my gf dumped me, mom h8s me, da razor releevs da pain\". Oh, and let\'s mourn for the loss of the last shreds of commonsense and dignity we have to offer as the online community.
miroslava mraz on Dec 05, 2005 at 14:40:32 said:
People should seriously realize what they say about others, judgements and putting someone who has just died is probably the disrespectful and rudest thing a low life can do. Do you know the exact story of Joshuas life? No?! Neither do I, but a human life was just taken away from him and his loved ones. He just probably gave you something to think about, when you will be going thru a hard time in your life. See, you never know in what situation life will put you.
Joshua REST IN PEACE!!!!
Mike Cuevas on Dec 05, 2005 at 14:24:18 said:
well, i don't know about you guys, but I have been alone for a long time now... it's depressing, but I know it is my fault, and that I can do something about it... ultimately it's the kid's fault, and his choice whether or not he should try and make an honest run at life... or take the easy way out, he chose the latter. To me it shows no indication whatsoever to have any repect directed towards a person in a suicidal situation, much less one that demanded so much attention. He could have private messaged his closest friends, yet it still would be a little attention hungry. Look at people like Layne Stanley, Kurt Cobain, Brad Nowell... theya ll died in the privacy of their own "miserable" lives.. at least they didn't try to get some publicity out of it.. they only got it because they were famous. A person who takes that route is telling me they think to themselves that they don't deserve anything from anyone else in the world, not even themselves. Then you expect me to respect him when he couldn't even respect himself? Or his family..
What an ungrateful little punk, You should all be ashamed by glorifying him in this manner.
Only people I feel sorry for are his parents and true loved ones... why does a death always bring the positive comments automatically?
The person wasn't perfect... look how he is now..
And it comes down to this... he's dead.. now what? His loved ones? they will be somedya also... and soon the memory will be forgotten, unless we learn from this. Learn to persevere under the harshest obstacles in life.. and to not be a coward.
Ian on Dec 05, 2005 at 08:53:13 said:
I don't know why there are so many people on here creating reasons of why he killed himself.
Frakety Frak started saying that the author of the article doesnt know him... "Really? You know him? Would you buy his pizza for him (if he weren't dead)?". Fair enough.
But then he goes on to give reasons on why he killed himself. So did you know him frak? Stop being such a hypocrit.
And everyone else who is ripping on this kid is disrespectful. I don't care how anyone dies, you don't say they are an "idiot". If your friend killed themself, would you start ripping on them? Have some respect. Some of you people are so god damn heartless.
When has it become accepted to make fun of someone who has died? What does it matter how they died? Don't be so insensitive.
Thrella on Dec 05, 2005 at 06:42:29 said:
A sad story indeed. I can\'t comprehend the urge to end your own life. I have lived through rough moments in my life, and good ones also. I felt desperation and panic before, but i\'ve always kept my head up and smiled.
I\'m not emo. I\'ve never been. I don\'t listen to that kind of music. But im sure its not it\'s falt. People get depressed and put the blame on something that has no direct connection with the events that happened. I can\'t imagine what this kid has gone through, and i don\'t want to know. Maybe people are just different. Whenever something really bad happens to me, i try smiling as bad as it is. Even the death of a good friend(not talking about this specific case, i\'ve never met this person before).Don\'t look at things negatively. If there is no positive side, then at least reflect the reasons a person would take such extreme action.
It is obvious that he has gone through more then most of us have. Else they would not finish their own lives. I am sorry for those who were close to him. My condolences. Now cheer up, buy some tomato soup and listen to the water squirrel, for he will give you the secrets of the flying potato of concrete fairies. Indeed...
julia m on Dec 05, 2005 at 06:28:56 said:
this is retarted. i'm only 14 but even i no that its
stupid to argue over soemones life. some people are entitled to their opinions but to call someone who just killed themselves dumb and selfish is obviously dumb and selfish themselves. it wasnt right that he killed himself and left his loved ones but he was obviously hurt in some way. people become emo because they like attention and others because they actually had a tragic thing happen to them. he couldve been either one but its not for us to judge. the fact is that his life is gone but from what i understand many people who knew him said that he brought joy to their lives so no one can truthfully tell me that his entire life was wasted. again maybe i dont no much about these kind of things but i no what is acceptable and right. anyone who thinks that this person is dumb may or may not be right but in my opinion his life was not a complete waste of love.
Mary Santangelo on Dec 05, 2005 at 05:10:50 said:
You people are pathetic. Whether he killed himself for a selfish reason or not, he is still owed respect. Put yourself in his ex-girlfriend and friends' shoes. Do you honestly think creating websites and posting profound comments about what an idiot you think he was is going to better the situation? How low can you get?
People don't kill themselves for attention, get over that fact. If they're dead what attention are they obtaining? I don't agree with the idea of someone killing themselves either, but i respect the fact that there are people out there who need help and aren't in the best emotional state. It takes a hell of a lot of emotion to kill yourself, it's not an "easy" thing.
Just because you have never experienced these feelings doesn't give you the right to trash the people who have.
To call him full of himself is a little hypocritical. All of you spitting on what happened to this kid obviously don't have the right to. You're too full of yourselves to look at another's point of view.
Kim Shir'hal on Dec 05, 2005 at 04:04:54 said:
I find this very depressing. I see a lot of people laughing at his demise on YTMND. Such a thing is not right. The dead should have the best points of their life honored. Speak peacefully and joyously about the dead. Do not make their living friends and family feel worse. My sympathy to the masses he had within his life, and farewell Josh, a pity you did not live to see adulthood. You were so close to reaching your dreams...
Avo on Dec 04, 2005 at 21:00:09 said:
I wonder how much pain this kid must have felt to come to the conclusion that death was easier to handle than life. We sometimes compare eachothers troubles with that of something worse. We like to think that being dumped by a girl is far less severe than say, losing a parent. But the fact is with nothing to compare to, losing this girl must have been the most devestating thing this kid had ever felt. With no prior experience in trauma or hurt, the reasons leading up to his suicide were more than he could take. It is not a question of why he killed himself, it is a question of how much he could handle. I find it strange that my generation has become so intwined with the internet, that even suicide notes have gone digital. I find it stranger still that my peers mock and laugh at the death of a fellow human being. May there be mercy on my generation.
Randy Jack on Dec 04, 2005 at 13:26:01 said:
I would say that the Emo scene did, in fact, contribute to this loss of life. The entirety of the scene focuses on dwelling and ruminating on problems that normally don't surpass a week of mild mourning, or possibly even a couple of tear drops following. In the case of this individual, it seemed his life revolved around what the entirety of the scene stands for, the need to focus on the supposed importance of random teenage relationships, the 'trust of friends' and so forth. The drive for the American Youth to look toward the future's been irradicated by hellbent trend and new-age nothings. Introspective Questioning and Intrinsic Motivation have been swept under the carpet of pseudo-comradery and surface level emotion brought forth as something deeper. I'd say that, yes, both the shallow approach my generation's adopted toward life (a crossbreed of nihilism and extremism), reinforced by the general apathy of the higher ups *cough cough* can be looked at as the primary cause of the spike in teenage suicide.
Unfortunate? yes, I do believe some will mourn for the family and so on.
But, to say the child was a contributor to his society on a large scale is impossible; he was seventeen and wrapped up in an almost fantasy world where top priority's a myth and the life we live is focused a pon how our peers react.
Of course, with a dichotomy of both rightist and leftist viewpoints conflicting in my statements, Change the System to Change the Individual and Change the Individual to change the system. Reciprocating Realities that need to be addressed in a fashion more stern than what we currently have.
Anthony on Dec 04, 2005 at 07:30:34 said:
some of you people make me sick, you are completely unsympathetic to another human beings struggle and cry for help.
just because you think he did this for attention, do you think the other countless suicides every year are for attention?
you dont hear about a dozen out of the tens of thousands a year.
and remember, you need to be ALIVE to receive attention, so do you still think he ended his life for that?
Louis on Dec 04, 2005 at 06:22:08 said:
He doesn't deserve the attention he's getting. He's another person who commits suicide and he deserves no recognition for taking his own life. It's like we're congratulating a suicide bomber on a job well done.
I don't understand why we're giving attention to some kid just because he posts he's going to commit suicide. Guess what...in my life, I've seen hundreds of these posts, and it's mostly redundant.
Why would they even sue myspace.com for the kid posting his suicide letter up? Maybe if he posted a real letter and put it on his door with a thumbtack, they'd sue the thumbtack company or the paper company for allowing their son to post his death threats.
It's pretty sad, his parents are trying to squeeze money out of a traumatical experience. If you read this, your son commited suicide for reasons that probably could've been prevented, but taking people's money because of your son's death is asinine. I was once sued because someone actually caught on fire in my backyard...
Trying to take money out of a situation...that may not be the case but that's how it sounds.
Izzy on Dec 04, 2005 at 04:01:44 said:
Well, this is a sad story. He shouldn't have done that, in fact, all of his friends should have been there to see what was happening to him. They could have stop him no matter what he said. And if he put it up on myspace, wouldn't you think that he wanted someone to try and stop him? Don't be stupid try to stop them, otherwise it will haunt you for the rest of your life knowing that you could have stop you r friend from dieing. I mean I would have tried my best, but I guess it was up to who ever to want him to die. And Suicide is not an answer for life causing you pain, and yea I know life can make you go insane, but if you really think so then it's your own damn fault for not getting anyone's help or talking to someone. Yeah, I do feel sorry for him, but he should have talked to someone about things.
Mike Gfjwerf on Dec 04, 2005 at 00:44:58 said:
Editor, you can't post comments on someones myspace if you arent their friend. Personally I think he wanted attention. Nothing else to it.
Laur on Dec 03, 2005 at 12:40:21 said:
Excuse me.. Who writes these articles for this site?
I notice they all seem sort of sarcastic and.. Well.. Poorly written. Like a high school student writes them. I expected a sort of professional feel to the writing, and if theres one thing i\'ve learned from taking many many years of English, its that this article (and the others on this site) express some of the poorest writing examples I have ever seen.
And to get more on topic, the way you speak about this boy is in my opinion, rude. You don\'t know him by reading what he put down on myspace. Just because a person puts they are married, or make $250 a year doesn\'t mean it is true in the least. And you have no right to call him a smart ass. Or even say you know why he commited suicide.
Jessie on Dec 03, 2005 at 09:59:01 said:
"ok...what the hell. while the loss of this young mans life is a shame, what makes his any more news worth than any other kid who takes their own life?" -- was said in a different comment and i totally agree because there was an accidental death in lockport, illinois, a sophomore girl slipped in here shower at home and broke her neck.. died instantly.. her parents didnt find here till three hours later, but everyone is hearing about this kid commiting suicide.. how is he different from any other teenager commiting suicide? why is he such a big deal? i mean about 4 years ago a close family friend of mine layed down on railroad tracks to get hit by the 6 oclock train that was suicide.. i bet you didnt hear about that either.. i think this is taking it to extremes..
i do feel for his friends and everything because i know how they feel losing someone close but seriously people get real.. this is something he wanted to do.. obviously he thought he would be happier dead.. quit making such a huge deal over it. this is something he wanted to do so just leave it alone.. seriously..
B on Dec 03, 2005 at 05:58:04 said:
This article was horribly written.
Quit with the whole "Emo" label.
"Oh he's emo, that's what they do" Whether he was "Emo" or not, doesnt make this situation any less worthy. A 17 year old boy is gone.
People are questioning why people are still leaving him comments..- It's like leaving flowers, or any object at a grave, they wont see it, it's just what you do for the people you love.
I see nothing wrong with it. To some,it's closure.
Stop trying to "figure" josh out.
Only the people close to him will know about this kid. Not you, the on lookers of the web. All you can do is judge him based on his "Myspace" profile.
Yes, He did a stupid thing. Yes, other people around the world go through worse. But he was 17. A time in life were you do stupid things and your emotions arent stable just yet.
This wasnt a "cry for attention". He's been this way for a while. Only ignorant people say things like "it's a cry for attention". You didnt know him personally, so you cant make idiotic opinions like that.
The whole ytmnd.com thing is horrible and it's sicking. Suicide is not a laughing matter or a joke. Obviously the people who made it haven't had someone close to them commit suicide or they'd re-think(if they even thought at all)the whole mock-myspace note.
No business on Dec 03, 2005 at 00:59:12 said:
Anyone who blames MySpace for any of this is stupid. I've got an account on that website. And its not their fault so you know if his parents are sueing Myspace, I can understand they're upset, but it's probably more of their fault than some website.
As for ytmnd.com, Don't expect people to KNOW it wasnt just a joke. Take a look round the internet and see how many people joke about it. So back off that website too.
It's all down to the way he lived his life, and society. Not some stupid websites. Perhaps he wasnt very open about his sadness. I could believe it was fake and the only reason i dont believe its fake now is because I've stumbled across this website.
I honestly cant see the problem with any of this, it's another unhappy kid who has killed himself. People do it all the time. So why is it so special now. So it's not natural - but it's obviously what he felt comfortable with. I've only just turned 18 and even though I often show that I'm happy, the truth is most of the time I'm not. He probably was the same, but felt comfortable ending how his life was.
It's how people are. I work in a train station, Atleast 4 fatalities where people jump infront of trains to commit suicide happens every month. It's not a rare occurence. For some other people who are still at school well maybe they feel different about it. But some people just don't like life and others have to get used it. As far as I can see this boy really wanted it. Because people have urged him to not do anything and then he did.
Seeing some of his friends comments on the MySpace profile of his, it's saddening. It is a shame, but it's human nature.
James Bernard on Dec 03, 2005 at 00:05:53 said:
He didnt suicide just because of a girl. On his myspace he has a blog about his brother that died at an early age.. and how much he missed him. The girl he loved and his brother were the cause of this tragedy
John Riccio on Dec 02, 2005 at 16:19:07 said:
I heard of this kid through ytmnd.com and decided to look at his myspace for myself. I must say that the tributes made me physically ill. I like to think that for most things, there is a time and a place. There is no place for comments such as these on a public forum such as myspace. I think that it's disrespectful and insincere.
Suicide is always for attention just as much as it is for release. Well, this kid is getting his attention now. What a cowardly way to do it.
Ashley on Dec 02, 2005 at 15:49:12 said:
I honestly do NOT understand the point of this article. Was it written to blame Myspace for his death... What is the point of this? I feel sad that this boy, Josh, felt the need to kill himself and I feel sad for his family and friends; they must be having a tough time with his passing.
To everyone that is saying 'Who cares about this kids death' that is just nonsense...REALLY, come on... HAVE A HEART. What if this was your brother, your sister, your cousin, your best friend? Would you want people who don't know you or the indiviual who killed themselves to write a repulsive article about them and have random people say things like who cares? HAVE A HEART.
People are pathetic. I hope I never cross paths with some of the people who responded to this article.
Truely Digusted,
Ashley.
John Howard on Dec 02, 2005 at 15:33:05 said:
even though i didn't know him at all...it almost brought me to tears to read that bulletin and look at the comments on his page because i know how he must have felt and im so sad it happened.
Digital Archon on Dec 02, 2005 at 15:31:01 said:
My condolences to his family and his friends.
I never knew Josh. I never knew Josh existed. But that doesn't matter. What does matter is that this poor kid couldn't see a way out for himself, and now he's gone.
Pax in memoriam,
Digital Archon
Lauren on Dec 02, 2005 at 14:52:17 said:
i hear that the kid`s parents are planning on sueing myspace for this.
this wasnt ANY0NE`s fault but HiS 0WN.
EVERY0NE has problems. hes not the only one. suicide just wasnt the answer.
Scott Metzger on Dec 02, 2005 at 14:37:04 said:
Its sad how much of catastrophy this has turned into in the online community.One visit on the popular website ytmnd.com and you'll find several sites makign fun of this subject. The worse thing I came on was somne kid made another account on myspace pretending to be Josh.
This is just sad
anna finley on Dec 02, 2005 at 12:36:08 said:
omg. i totally agree with this article(or what i believe what it is saying). this guy didnt kill himself b/c he was emo. he killed himself for attention. sorry if i sound harsh, but this guy does not get my sympathy. niether do the same idiots posting the same comment every couple of hours. i mean, its fine if you wanna post your goodbyes, but to do it at least 6 times is ridiculous. the guy is dead. he isn't going to read the first goodbye. he isn't going to read the 6th goodbye. am i being too crude or harsh?
Anthony Parello on Dec 02, 2005 at 11:30:16 said:
This story is outrageous. There is a right way and wrong way to cover stories and I used to think of that as one of the top rules of journalism. I was taught as a fellow news journalist myself that a suicide story should be a rememberance of the person's life, short and not a gruesome detail of their death.
I am a student journalist who has submitted work towards the AP. This article does nothing but put more hardship on the family and this person's friends'. Put yourself in the shoes of the family and imagine the grief they are suffering without this detailed summary going into the news.
Secondly by disclosing the suicide note and details to follow this paper has given media coverage to those who never knew this person and may be contemplating suicide ideas and the possibility of attention if they did.
One question I would like answered by both the editors who allowed this story and the author who wrote it is what they are trying to gain covering a story in the detail they did. This is the kind of reporting that puts a bad image on the press.
I grief for this boy and his family and a I would like for someone at your paper to stand up and print a retraction. Enough harm has been done. From one news journalist to another, please reconsider your account of this story for the morality of the press, if not the personal story it covers.
Sincerely,
Anthony Parello
Mike on Dec 02, 2005 at 10:20:33 said:
man....this kid it just dumb. seriously if he really cared about his friends, he wouldn't have commited suicide.
he's a selfish child, forget him
Rev, Tic Toc on Dec 02, 2005 at 10:18:45 said:
The fact that he died over a girl and or the fact that he was emo is ridiculous. There was obvisuly somthing wrong with this young man. Also he posted it on myspace.com which is the stupidest thing alive. Its so stupid that people are leaving him comments hes never going to see them again. They only people who should be leaving comments are his REAL friends not his little cyber buddies because they did'nt know him. It was his choice to commit suicide you should feel sorry a little because its a life of a young man that was lost. But if his life was that bad to kill him self over.
- Rev. Tic Toc
Sarah on Dec 02, 2005 at 09:23:01 said:
Think about this:
hes online becasue somebody else signed onto his account..it is possible for other people to know the passwords
He posted a suicide note on the internet simply saying to call the police..I mean, maybe he didnt want people to think it was murder
I really feel for this guy. I have almost killed myself, and I dont appreciate how this article is talking about him, and some of the comments. He is not alive anymore, its not good to say bad things about the deceased, especially if you dont know them. Honestly, his death really had an effect on my life even though I didnt know him. It made me learn that no matter what theres always people that love you.
Frakety Frak on Dec 02, 2005 at 08:58:39 said:
Lame. This article is as lame and as shallow as the Emo kid himself. The author of this drivel wrote, "...not 30 hours after he did what he did, I know Joshua Anson Ballard." Really? You know him? Would you buy his pizza for him (if he weren't dead)? What was his favorite movie? Color? Time of year?
Ridiculous.
The fool didn't kill himself because of a girl. He killed himself because his parents only loved themselves, and taught him to only love himself. So, he grew up expecting the world (and girls) to go his way, and when they didn't...blammo. He learned it from his folks.
That's why we are having a culture war in America now. Because selfish parents raised selfish kids who are raising more selfish kids. No one cares about helping others, holding the door for a lady, standing when an elder enters the room, opening the car door for mom -- not out of duty, but out of love and respect.
It's depressing. I think I'll kill myself.
Chelsea on Dec 02, 2005 at 06:42:20 said:
Alright So Alot of People That i Have been Talking to Dont understand Why he killed himself.
Over a Girl ?
or just the fact that he is emo and didnt like his life ?
Someone Please tell me so i can stop the drama talking all the way overe here in Huntington beach
Nugget on Dec 02, 2005 at 06:41:42 said:
"i cant really help but notice a sarcastic tone in this article."
Yeah, you got that right. It's such a shame... so much young life wasted...
furious.styles on Dec 02, 2005 at 05:41:31 said:
ok...what the hell. while the loss of this young mans life is a shame, what makes his any more news worth than any other kid who takes their own life?
while i know i will catch flack from some for this...why should this day be any different next year....than say december 3rd?
i just did a google search on Joshua Anson Ballard, and you know how many hits i got? not a damn 1.
do a search on anne frank..and you get tons of stuff. there was meaning in her death.
what was the meaning in the death of this young man?
ashlee on Dec 02, 2005 at 05:08:09 said:
everyone gets their feelings hurt one time or another. this was pointless. myspace creator tom didn't do sh-t and no one should even enter him into this. some kid was dumb enough to post his death ONLINE pity pity.
you may see this as being rude.. but think about it for a minute.. most people who kill themselves don't tell others. you end up finding them.. dead. attention and knowing that he was dead wanted to be spread around and he wanted people from all over to know HE WAS ENDING HIS LIFE. yes, people post blogs about tbeir life... but no one goes to the xtreme of killing over after it is all said and love...
hate it or love it.
Auto on Dec 02, 2005 at 04:48:36 said:
First off the only reason his MySpace was online was because his Brother was on it blocking people who would comment against or anything to hurt anyone such as talking \"sh-t\" about Joshua, it\'s common sense. I don\'t understand the concept of putting your suicide on a bulletin on MySpace, I remember reading through his comments and someone stating \"don\'t do it, plz don\'t\", or something in that term..Possibly he has tried suicide before and didn\'t succeed, so he wanted all this grief and attention towards him and just ended it by shooting himself in the head.
up the punx on Dec 02, 2005 at 02:29:44 said:
i cant really help but notice a sarcastic tone in this article.
now, i guess it sucks for people that knew him, but i couldn\'t care less about this and myspace has no effect on whether he would\'ve killed himself or not.
and MySpace creator tom should be paying all these families for the free publicity and advertising that their stupid teenagers donate their lives towards.
devil z on Dec 02, 2005 at 02:25:15 said:
your article made me lol with its description, starting with Josh loved girls who cry. So if Joshy is dead, why is he online Myspace right now?
Alex on Dec 01, 2005 at 19:05:10 said:
This is the saddest thing... adolescence can be such a miserable place to be, having thoughts of no one loving you, no one caring for you... and there being NO ONE at ALL being there for you... those thoughts are the most terrible in the world. I feel very sad for him, having no one being there when he did it, dying alone, by himself...
I feel for the guy, but suicide isn't the answer.
Lynne Sabourin on Dec 01, 2005 at 10:21:52 said:
I can't believe that someone would post their suicide note on myspace. I find it especially strange that people are leaving him comments. I'm sure they mean well, but words always seem less personal when typed over the Internet. It really is sad that this happened. It's weird too, because I was just talking to my friends the other day wondering what they do with the myspaces of people who pass away.
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