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I'm Over Chris Brown

YO! Youth Outlook Multimedia, Commentary, Alexis Lewis-Shaw Posted: Feb 09, 2009

Editor's Note: Chris Brown's no-show at the Grammy Awards last night highlights a problem many young women face in their own relationships, writes 16-year-old Alexis Lewis-Shaw, a contributor to YO!

Like T-Pain said, I can't believe it! R&B singer Chris Brown, 19, and pop diva girlfriend Robyn Fenty, 20, aka Rihanna -- have gotten into a situation that many young women are quite familiar with -- he allegedly put his hands on her.

Sources say that on the night of Feb. 7th, Fenty and Brown got into a hot argument and it ended with Rihanna hurt. Chris left the scene before the police even arrived and now he's been arrested on suspicion of a domestic violence felony. Because of the altercation, Rihanna and Chris canceled their performances at the Grammy Awards at the last minute. Just hours before the Grammy's, Chris turned himself into the L.A.P.D. and is out on $50,000 bail.

When I heard this story, I was not surprised. I can't even say that I gasped or that it changed my mood. I now see Chris as a nobody. He doesn't even exist to me, now that I know he has put his hands on a woman. Yeah, it could have been a mistake, but that's a mistake that he shouldn't even ever think of making. I don't care what Rihanna did or how she did it he had no right.

This situation hit especially close to home because I have a close friend who recently dealt with a similar situation of domestic violence, as a teenager. The worst part is that the situation is so common that people dont even think it is a big deal anymore.

For example, I found out about the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation when my friends texted me and we discussed it. One of my friends felt the same way as me, but my other friend a die hard Chris Breezy fan said that it was all a lie and that he's not capable of doing anything like that because he's a Mamas boy. I said to her, "Dude are you seriously serious?!?"

Is it impossible for a dude that has love for his moms to put his hands on a female? From around my way, I would have to say that has nothing to do with anything. A lot of dudes have respect for their mom, because a lot of them have been raised by them, so that's not even a factor. A man who puts his hands on a woman and then runs away from what hes done is a weak-willed guy that is obviously a coward. But the crazy part about this is that in many communities, these situations are so frequent that nowadays everyone has become numb and accustomed to them.

Take my friend Amber, for instance. I never thought in a million years that I would have a patna that would do the shady shit that I would look at and be like: "Aww, that's hella nasty." When my friend came to me saying that she was pregnant by a loser, then had sex with his friend to make her baby daddy mad, and got her ass beat for it I had to say God Damn! in my mind, because what kind of friend would I be to tell it to her in her face? Not a good one, I already know. I actually think I was in a tougher spot then she was because I had to be supportive and keep my trap shut when I wanted to scream out: "Whatever crack you on, you need to let it go cause you actin real stupid and careless with your life!" But at the end of the day, it still is not an excuse for a man to physically hurt you.

Amber is a petite, mixed girl with curly dark brown hair. When I met her freshman year of high school, we automatically clicked. She had the style of a straight-up urban kid, and the attitude of one of the coolest, chillest females ever. Back then, her pride and joy was her grades and she was always good at making her mother proud with that honor roll bumper sticker. On the other hand, I was a rebel. I did what I wanted to do and came to school when I felt like it. I was a good kid though, I swear. But coming into our junior year, Amber started to change. It was also when her 20-year-old boyfriend broke up with her for some model chick in L.A. At first her new ways didnt bother me, I figured we all have to grow up.

I was there when she met her new boyfriend in Dolores Park. At first, I thought he was cool, but it didnt last long he was too into sex, drugs and alcohol. Off top, I knew he was no good for her. With sex involved, they quickly jumped into a relationship, which I knew was a bad idea because my homegirl had just gotten out of a year-long relationship. Two months later, she's pregnant, skipping class, not doing her homework, staying out all night, and lying to her mother. It took her carrying a life to realize that maybe, just maybe, this loser wasn't good for her. It took her another month to finally listen to her friends advice and look at the facts that he cheated on her, that he screened her phone calls for her to finally realize that they needed to break up.

While they were breaking up, he would refuse to answer her calls, so she came up with the stupidest idea of screwing his good friend just to spite her no-good boyfriend. When she told me her plan, I told her it was stupid, and she swore up it down that it was the smartest thing since sliced bread.

A week later, I get a frantic message from her. When I called her back, she told me that she had gone through with her plan and had sex with her boyfriends friend, then later on that day, went to go have a final break-up talk with her boyfriend with a hickey on her neck. But he had already heard the news from around the block and went ballistic on her, to the point where he put hands on her and attempted to choke her out.

My first thought was that we got to go get this cat and show him not to put hands on a female, though Amber was more wrong than two left shoes. It was still the principle that he had no right to put his hands on a young woman. I know a lot of girls that have gotten hands put on them because they wanted to get back at someone for doing them wrong. Ladies, don't do it. How can you get back at someone that doesn't even care about you?

Who knows what the real reason is that Chris Brown put his hands on Rihanna. The day after the Grammys, there were outlandish rumors circulating on the internet that Rihanna gave him herpes. On MTV.com, they talked about an interview Chris Brown had done with Giant magazine a few years ago talking about how his stepfather abused his mother.

It just proves that this guy is no different than any of the dudes you hear or see about in your communities, the only difference between him and them is that he's in the music industry and he has money. He's just a regular ole guy that is over-exposed. It is not impossible for him to be a coward.

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