Mormon Polynesians Split on Prop 8
Silicon Valley Debug, Commentary, Jean Melesaine, Posted: Nov 20, 2008
Editor's note: Mormonism has made heavy inroads in the Polynesian community and in the recent battle over Proposition 8, the anti-gay message of the church caused painful rifts for author Jean Melesaine, who is queer, Polynesian--and raised Mormon. Video by Tiburon accompanies the essay. Melesaine and Tiburon are contributors to Silicon Valley Debug
I've never seen Polynesians as publicly engaged in an issue as they were with Proposition 8. Many of them are Mormons, and the Mormon Church really pushed for Yes on 8. I'm Polynesian, queer and raised in the Mormon Church. Of all of the issues our Polynesian community could organize around -- drugs, violence, gangs, education for our youth -- they choose the one that is against me.
I had words with the Yes On 8 protesters at De Anza College, the college I attend in Cupertino, Calif. The campus became a war zone between Yes and No on Prop 8 groups. The majority of those who came to rally for Yes on 8 were Polynesians, and probably don't attend De Anza. Not surprisingly, they were Mormon, and as deeply personal as this issue is for me, they seemed as if they were blindly just doing what they were being told to do. One of them, probably not even a student, responded by saying, "I don't know about this, I just came for the f--- of it."
I was the only Polynesian on the opposing side.
I was baptized in the Mormon Church and according to my full-blown Mormon cousin, technically I'm still Mormon until I'm ex-communicated. I renounced Mormonism when I was 10, two years after my baptism, but I still attended church because it was the only place where other Polynesians organized. I attended a church where the pastor adamantly pushed for the passage of Prop 8. It became obvious that I couldn't stay in his congregation after he used the word "faggot" in his sermon.
Polynesians are always seen as being big people in small groups -- minorities on campus or in the community. As in any group, there's a good number of Polynesians who are gay, so even being seen as a small group of people, to be gay within that group makes you even smaller. Feeling like a minority at times gets overwhelming because I'm usually the token Polynesian, or if I'm not the token Polynesian, I'm usually the token queer. From my perspective being gay has made me a stronger person because I have to make visible the invisible and give voice to the voiceless for the future to come.
I became deeply emotional after seeing that the Mormon Church, which consists of some of the richest white people, were donating so much money—more than $20 million—all the way from Utah to the Yes On 8 campaign. Yet none of those rich white people were out here doing the dirty work of campaigning against gay marriage. They were having my people do their slave work – making the signs, marching in the rain, telling obnoxious and bigoted jokes at college campuses.
And who knows, maybe my people want to do the work. It's like seeing your family on crack, brainwashed by that white stuff only to answer with, "God is on my side." At De Anza, I thought perhaps they would listen to me more than the other No on 8 students because I was Polynesian. But as I tried, and they murmured "faggot" in between laughs and threw flyers at our crowd, I felt like I was wasting my breath on people who didn't care. People who didn't understand enough to care.
My Mormon cousin, whom I'd been staying with for the last two weeks, was part of that. She made homophobic remarks anytime the proposition came up on the news or we drove by signs. I bit my tongue to make my two-week stay a little lighter. One day we were driving on a freeway and there were two people waving their "No On 8" signs on the overpass. My cousin yelled, "Yes on 8!" and then I told her that I was against Prop 8. There was an awkward silence and I left her house earlier than I had planned. Any time I brought up my experience and homophobia, she would immediately end the conversation. Her strong religious beliefs and homophobia made it impossible for me to stay with her.
The strange this is, the basis for so many Polynesians being against gay marriage – their Mormon faith – was never ours to begin with. We had, and still have, our own religions from the islands, ones that are inclusive and embracing of everyone in the community. If our community wants to move forward, we need to embrace the parts of our culture that bring us together and let go of the things that are tearing us apart.
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User Comments
Tolua Samifua on Dec 02, 2008 at 15:16:42 said:
"keep your head up" sorry, typo!
Tolua Samifua on Dec 02, 2008 at 15:11:16 said:
I am not Mormon. I attend an all Samoan, Protestant Christian church. I'm not sure if anyone here is familiar with it, but it is called, "Lotu Taiti" in Samoan.
Though I am not Mormon, I find that there are many similarties between the Lotu Taiti and Mormon church. There are few differences in the what we believe (we as in both Mormon and Lotu Taiti beliefs) but there are so many similarities. For Lotu Taiti I believe we have many similarities to Mormon beliefs because the Lotu Taiti church is heavily influenced by the "Fa'a Samoa" way. Women and men play significant roles in the culture/ Lotu Taiti church, instead of "tithing" we at Lotu Taiti give "Alofa" (offering or monetary donations) to our "Faifeau" (Pastor) for his spiritual guidance. The "Alofa" according to the bi-laws are NOT required, but registered members of the church must give "Alofa" in order to remain on good terms with the church.
Anyways, the reason I wanted to respond to this was to reach out to the author. I am a Samoan woman and I don't know if being a "woman" is what makes me feel for those who are in your shoes, but I wish I could be there to give you a big hug.
I grew up reading the Bible, knowing what was/is "right" from "wrong". And this topic of "homosexuality" is supposed to be black and white but in the Samoan culture, homosexuality is not something we(the Samoan cultlure) look down upon. Yes, there are those (elders/ older folks of the church or not with the church) that shake their heads or mumble under their breath, but it isn't something that is made a "big" deal of. I am not saying that we encourage homosexuality in anyway but if one who has prayed, "fasted", sought guidance/advice from a Spiritual advisor and you still feel the way thedo, what can be done?
To deny one's true feelings of 'self' will only cripple you down the line and many members of ANY church who were scrutizined, criticized, teased, tormented, etc because of that will agree.
It is human to feel, to empathize, but it is also human to fear. Fear is what drives people to "think" a certain way, to react a certain way, to conform. I am an active member of my youth group at church and I believe in helping anyone of my youth as much as I can no matter their sexual preference. Isn't that the what we were taught growing up? Esp. us Christians? Yes, we praise in different ways and have different beliefs, but we are Christian nonetheless. I hope and pray for the best for YOUR well-being. It isn't even about religion or sexual preference to me, but the fact that you are fellow Polynesian suffering so much because of something so minor is what gets me.
Please be well and keep our head up.
Peace,
Tolua
ST on Nov 28, 2008 at 19:28:43 said:
Jean Melesaine - split is 50/50 . so where have your eyeballs been throughout the duration of this campaign? under a rock? you need to rephrase that word split. use a better word. TIP.
jane sund on Nov 21, 2008 at 12:09:40 said:
I sincerely recommend Mr. or Ms.Roberts to read or re-read G.Orwell book "1984". May be it will help him/her to understand that "war" is not "peace". In our context it means that his attempt to portrait us as people full of hatred is exactly what Orwell was talking about in his book. You can't or you don't want to see the difference between war and peace, between hatred and our right to have our beliefs. You think that democracy is when everything is going the way you want. Nope. Not my way, not your way. For now gay activists show deep disrespect to the opinion they have heard. Why? Why to put label "hater" on us if we think differently? Are we allowed to have our opinion or we have to follow someone's opinion (gay in this case) and only in this case we will deserve your respect? I do not put any labels on gays... they can do what they want, I am not forcing them to be straight. But don't force us and especially our kids. If I gave them freedom to chose how they live,what they read, to be religious or not, what profession to have, why should I allow someone to brainwash them? We have gay parades day in SF, Out of closet day in all schools. I feel discriminated, because straight families have nothing. I am planning to work with people and to organize Family Day in the city. Why not? Who likes the idea - contact me at js@kstati.net
Cal Roberts on Nov 21, 2008 at 10:45:46 said:
Well written article Jean. You are obviously a corageous individual who stands up for what you believe is right. All these hateful comments pretty much prove your point better than anything else. I dont know why these folks (mormon and otherwise) hate gay people so much but you have already proved yourself to be their betters by a mile.
D Turi on Nov 21, 2008 at 10:06:33 said:
All of the LDS Polynesians I know were strongly in favor of prop 8. I honestly don\'t know a single LDS Polynesian who was against it. I\'m sure they exist, but there isn\'t much of a split.
You accuse us of blind obedience. I couldn\'t disagree more strongly. We do, in fact follow the prophet, but our eyes are wide open. My persoanl decision was based on my personal intellect, and yes, part of that has to do with my desire to be obedient to God - not to his prophet.
Your \"richest white people\" reference is racist, demonstrates your tendency to promote class warfare and is probably not even accurate. At the very least we can say that there is to no scientific evidence that the LDS who donated to the cause - at least on the average - were any more or less rich than anyone else. It\'s your perception, nothing else. Of course there were a few very large donations from some rich, white people, but there was and has been more money donated in opposition to the measure than for it. And it still passed...for the second time... and the extreme activist California courts will probably still overturn the will of the people for the seecond time. And by the way, I\'m grateful for rich white people. I\'m employed by one - and he\'s one of the best people I know.
I strongly believe in the rights of people to live their lives as they see fit as long as their lives do not infringe on the values and rights of society as a whole. The people of California have spoken...two times now. Let\'s see how much the homosexual community and our activist California courts value the laws of the land.
jane sund on Nov 21, 2008 at 10:04:23 said:
I am trained to read between the lines, unfortunately, living big part of my life in Soviet Union. So between the Jean's lines I read this: Jean is using some things which should not be used: hidden rasist remarks such as "none of those rich white people were out here doing the dirty work" or "having my people do their slave work". She is trying to associate herself with poorest, underserved part of the society portraiting mormons as if they had slaves. She didn't pay attention that majority of the black community supported prop. 8. Why she didn't? Because it's not politically correct. She didn't mention that gay community is VERY rich. She didn't say a word that in SF on every single block on the streets who lead to freeway there were hundreds of people who were staying with signs opposing prop.8. I have friends who are gays, I worked with gays, and I deeply appreciate intelligence of many of gay people, their taste... I respect their right to do in their houses what they want to do. I can say that loving your gay friend has nothing to do with supporting prop.8. What I don't want (and I witnessed this being speechless) is when gay is coming to schools lecturing. When one 15 y.o. boy said something or asked the gay lector, he got the answer "Were you ever were with the man?" When the boy answered NO, the adult man asked him "If you didn't have this experience, then how do you know that this is not good?" Folks, adults, my question to you: do you really believe that we have to try everything to tell that something is wrong? Drugs? Killing people? Or may be it make sense to beleive that killing is not good or having sex with minors is not good? What kind of question adult gay put in the head of 15 y.o. boy? I don't want even my dearest friends who are gays to come to schools and lecture. There is 1-2% of the population who are gays by nature. They have all rights by California family law, they are domestic partners. Сalifornia Family Code. Section 297.5 297.5 (a)Registered domestic partners shall have the same rights, protections, and benefits… I also have my rights. If the majority of the californians made their decision second time... why gay community do not respect it? Isn't this democracy?
Ron Oliver on Nov 20, 2008 at 20:21:36 said:
Wow....somebody writes an honest account of her experience with arguably the most homophobic institution on the planet - organized religion - and all you guys can do is call her a liar?
I don't want to split hairs here, but for a group of people who believe in magic underwear, Jesus walking around the southwest sometime after crawling outta that cave, and the spiritual power of metal plates dug out of the ground by a certifiable schizophrenic with a penchant for pedophilia, you really should be a little nicer to somebody who is trying to be part of the club.
Traditional Tolerance on Nov 20, 2008 at 19:16:40 said:
To be fair to the author, I was unclear when reading the article if she was referring to a Mormon congregation she was attending when the offensive remarks were made, or if it was another church. The use of the word pastor is even more confusing as it is not a word used to describe a congregation's leader in the LDS faith.
I too was happy to see polynesians of various Christian beliefs (Mormon and others) come together to support Prop.8.
I don't follow the often heard argument from the Pro Gay Marriage side that $$ came in to the campaign from out of state. This is not illegal nor is it the first time that money has come from out of state donors.
I know the author knows what she was talking about when she wrote "...Mormon Church, which consists of some of the richest white people, ... Yet none of those rich white people were out here doing the dirty work of campaigning against gay marriage. They were having my people do their slave work."
Simply not true, how do I know, because I witnessed precinct walkers from all economic backgrounds over the course of the campaign walk along side polynesians and others from all walks of life to support the common cause.
roger pack on Nov 20, 2008 at 17:10:46 said:
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with the church. We do love gay people too [I have some friends who are gay]. Maybe I'll run into you and we can have a nice conversation sometime [like, very calm].
Much love.
-=R
Keoa Vaka on Nov 20, 2008 at 17:09:47 said:
Thanks, but no thanks for your feeble attempt to write something to prove any valid point or to sway and pity in your direction. If you really are Polynesian you would have known from day one that FAMILIES are not only central to MORMONS, but have been central in the polynesian culture before any white man landed on any shores of the polynesian island. Marriage has always been a focal point of the FAMILY (HUSBAND/FATHER & WIFE/MOTHER) Try to learn more about your own culture before you try to write something that contradicts it! And I love the fact that polynesians came out and supported prop 8... I love that the polynesian community is coming out and becoming actively engaged in politics!
Braun on Nov 20, 2008 at 16:40:33 said:
One of the greatest lies being perpetuated in all of these blogs if "they were blindly just doing what they were being told to do."
Well, liberals, you're just blindly doing what the liberal media wants you to do.
Cheryl on Nov 20, 2008 at 15:51:51 said:
Mormons don\'t have pastors and don\'t preach sermons and would never use faggot in a talk. I think the author is making some of this up. shame on you
evan on Nov 20, 2008 at 15:50:01 said:
The problem isn't that Mormons supported Proposition 8, but they are the only ones that it is still politically okay to attack.
j. max on Nov 20, 2008 at 10:40:52 said:
Observer - can you provide a cite/link for the statistics? Thanks.
Alex Walker on Nov 20, 2008 at 07:38:29 said:
As a poor, white Mormon, I've always been thankful for the Polynesians. Let's be clear, the author is hurt because it's not possible to have cake and eat it too. Mormons don't have pastors and the juxtaposition of general information about being Mormon and a 'faggot'-saying pastor is, at best, deceitful. Oh, and the 'inclusive' pre-Christian religion of Polynesia was violent, caste-based, and allowed cannibalism. Nice way to twist facts to make yourself look like a victim.
angie w on Nov 20, 2008 at 07:05:54 said:
i think the comment below is very applicable. there were various religions, various races, and various demographic groups that voted for prop 8.
bay_area on Nov 20, 2008 at 06:53:20 said:
"We had, and still have, our own religions from the islands, ones that are inclusive and embracing of everyone in the community."---Oh really? What Christian church from Polynesia marrys gays? I can't seem to think of any.
Shaun on Nov 20, 2008 at 06:43:52 said:
This person's story is absolutely ridiculous. She is obviously got a bone to pick with the Mormon Church and is willing to lie to do it. I highly doubt ANY Mormon leader would refer to gays as "faggots" and every Mormon in California was asked, not forced, to participate. That only Polynesian Mormons were askes is simply false. Who is publishing this stuff?
Observer on Nov 20, 2008 at 06:25:24 said:
These are the biggest groups that voted Yes on Prop 8
All Males 53%
All Females 52%
Latinos 53%
Non-Whites 56%
Blacks 70%
Catholics 64%
Protestants 68%
Evangelicals 81%
Suburanites 59%
Age 30-44 55%
Age 45-64 54%
Age 65+ 61%
College Grads 50%
Household Income $100,000+ 50%
Non-White College Grads 55%
Married People 61%
Households with children under age 18 64%
Married With Children 68%
Labor Union Members 56%
Observer on Nov 20, 2008 at 06:14:21 said:
As a polynesian, I dont believe there is much of a 'split' as far as where most of us voted on this ussue. We're probably the racial group that most overwhelmingly voted Yes on 8. And I must say that while members of the Mormon church may have been active in the campaign, the belief in traditional marriage is not something that is exlusive to Mormons. That marriage is a divine ordinance between God, a man and a woman is a value shared by most Christians. Catholics and Protestants overwhelmingly voted Yes on 8 as well and so did 81% if voters who attend church at least once a week-a category many, if not most Polynesians fall under. While I support your right to live as you wish, I applaud the efforts by our those in our community to stand for what we believe to be true and I have never been more proud of my heritage.
JD on Nov 20, 2008 at 05:55:40 said:
I confess that I doubt your Mormon pastor (by the way, Mormons don\'t even use the term \"pastor\"...) actually said the word \"faggot\" in a sermon, as that is totally contrary to what the church teaches and stands for. If he did, as a Mormon let me personally apologize for his un-Christlike and un-Mormon behavior. If you\'d like to know what Mormon leaders have said about gays over the course of the past decade, I invite you to visit www.allaboutmormons.com/Blog/mormons_gay_haters_passage_proposition_ENG_28.php
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